


A Practical Marriage

by Batfanfrombackintheday (TottPaula)



Series: Batman & Batgirl, or Bruce & Barbara's Love Stories [22]
Category: Batman (1966), Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman Elseworlds
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Attraction, Class Differences, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Smut, F/M, Loss of Control, Lust, Romantic Comedy, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Strong Female Characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2020-06-30 02:15:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 12,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19843471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TottPaula/pseuds/Batfanfrombackintheday
Summary: Takes place in the early 1960sBruce is weary of dating shallow women, he wants to find a woman who can challenge his intellect.As his thirty-fifth birthday comes and goes, he realizes how empty his life has become.Although he denies it, even surrounded by people he's feeling alone.He wants the married bliss that his friends have, with a wife and family.An arranged marriage is sounding exactly like what he needs.But will he find more than a simple practical arrangement with her, eventually even love?***Written with love and respect for Adam West, Burt Ward, and Yvonne Craig, you made me a lifelong Batman fan.





	1. A Most Practical Man

**Author's Note:**

> I'm in the process of expanding the dialogue and story chapter by chapter. 
> 
> Please excuse any temporary continuity problems, soon all will be more readable once more. 
> 
> Thank you for your patience.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce decides it's time to settle down from his playboy lifestyle, he's in his thirties and wants a marriage, and definitely eventually some children.
> 
> He asks his best friend for a suggestion, after all Jim knows many people, unfortunately the girl in question is willful and stubborn, but she's well- educated and intelligent.   
> She can hold her own in conversation. 
> 
> She's completely different than his regular dates. She simply lacks a few social skills.
> 
> She's also feeling very eager to settle down.
> 
> If she doesn't find somebody soon she feels she'll never marry anyone at all, and be an old maid. An arranged marriage seems to be her solution as well. 
> 
> Bruce seems to be an excellent prospect. 
> 
> What can she possibly lose, as long as neither one of them asks too many questions.

"This is the most insane idea you've ever come up with Bruce, it's four something in the morning, go back to sleep!"

With that, Jim hangs up.

The phone rings again, damn why is his friend so persistent?

"I'm trying to sleep, it's not even daylight, what's wrong with you man? I'm old, I need my rest dammit. "

"But it's a perfect solution, really it is Jim. I'll be back in Gotham tomorrow night, make a few phone calls and choose one of them. I don't care what color or background they are, as long as they have a good head on their shoulders and look decent. Clean background, no major felonies. I can dress them up if I need to.

Just a good modern girl. The marrying tyoe." Bruce explained as though he hadn't explained this over and over for weeks.

Jim thought he was drunk, or had been hit on the head. But they were best of friends for so long, and Bruce would soon tire of his newfound hobby and return to dating starlets and leggy models... his usual. 

Jim shook his head in disbelief. 

* * *

"This could easily backfire on you, Bruce, you have no idea how stubborn she is."

"It's fine, Jim, I just want a good wife. Someone pretty, but not vain and glamorous, she needs to be organized and efficient like a great car. That, and Barbara seems genuinely sweet from what I recall."

"But she's not a car, Bruce, she's flesh and blood, and human. She'll tear the skin off of your bones, man, if you challenge her. She's as stubborn as I am."

"Jim, you know that I can deal with anyone, I run several successful corporations. How difficult can it be to manage a wife?"

Jim rolled his eyes at how clueless his friend was.

Manage? Seriously?

"But she won't be your employee, she'll be your wife and your life partner, be careful what you wish for."

"I want to draw up legal papers, she fascinates me, Jim. She's pretty, she's smart, and she's not in it just for show. I'd like to set up a meeting and sign a contract with her as soon as possible."

"It's your funeral, chum," Jim sighed.

Bruce was as stubborn as they came when it came to getting married.

Jim knew in his heart that his friend was lonely, but this was almost desperate of him, agreeing to marry a practical stranger! They barely had spoken more than a few words to one another before now. 

Bruce figured it was for the best, his grandparents were almost strangers and had a long happy marriage, so why not try an arrangement such as they had?

Royals did it, foreigners did it, even some Americans still did arranged or mail order marriages.

The odds of success seemed to be in his favor. 

Why shouldn't it work just as well for him?

They don't need to be in love, that's just stuff for bedtime stories.

Even though he's the unofficial prince of Gotham doesn't mean he needs a royal ball to find a good woman, just a good friend who's willing to make a few calls and set up an informal meeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit of a prequel to set up the story.
> 
> The plot is simple, Bruce is weary of dating shallow women. He wants to find a woman who can challenge him.
> 
> As his thirty-fifth birthday comes and goes with all the pomp and extravagance that comes with such a fete, or feat, he realizes how empty his life has become.
> 
> Although he denies it when his best friend Jim brings up the subject, he's lonely.
> 
> He wants what his friends have, a wife and family.
> 
> Alfred is all he has, but there are places in Bruce's life a father figure can't fill.
> 
> In this world, there aren't any Robins, he works alone, or with that tantalizing Daredoll Batgirl.
> 
> Batgirl and Batman are independent, and their identities remain unknown to one another, though they seem to be pulled towards the same criminal cases, and work well together.
> 
> Batgirl is flirtatious, while Barbara Gordon's default personality is shy and she doesn't go on many dates.
> 
> Her strict father and upbringing are partially at fault.
> 
> Now if only she could blend both sides...
> 
> She would be a confident fabulous badass chick!


	2. Now, how?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce Wayne has his mind set on arranging a wedding at breakneck speed, he feels it's just a formality. 
> 
> But Barbara Gordon has some other ideas in mind.

_Jim brought his daughter Barbara with him to meet Bruce._

_She had attended many a gala or fundraiser with Mr. Wayne present as her father's plus one, but rarely had gotten more than a greeting from the man. She guessed she wasn't his type. His type often being tall, glamorous, and dumb as a brick._

_Steady as a soldier, and just as stiff, she put out her hand and said, "Hello, I'm Barbara Gordon, as you might recall Mister Wayne. It's so nice to see you again."_

_He gave her a lazy smile as he checks her out slowly from top to bottom making her feel both as an object and by his wide smile as something he desired._

_He thought that she was just as pretty as he remembered, but acting so formally, it's like she's forcing herself to be here and act politely._

_Feisty!_

_"In these circumstances I think it's fine to call me Bruce, Barbara. If we do agree on this arrangement we'll soon be husband and wife, there's no need to stand on ceremony, is there?" he asked, holding her hand without allowing her to pull away._

_She felt a mixture of offense at his forwardness and an animal attraction as an electric charge seemingly traveled up her arm._

_Why wouldn't he let her hand go? She was becoming uncomfortable as his body heat traveled from his hand to hers, making her heart begin to pound._

_He pulled her in closer and pushed an errant lock of her hair behind her ear, making her heart catch in her chest._

_His charm felt like a super power._

_"Let's sit down and discuss this and then we can sign the legal papers I've had drawn up."_

_His voice is soft but begs agreement. Bruce apparently isn't used to being denied anything he wants, and it seems he wants her._

_'Well neither am I, I can be just as stubborn!' she imagined. 'If he thinks I'll give in to everything then he's got another think coming.'_

"I have a few points to add before I sign," she began, 

"Now...You're living in this historic landmarked home and it looks like you've covered all the original floors and walls, I want to have full authority to restore this house back to its original state."

Bruce stated that "We'll be married in the courthouse in two weeks time."

_Barbara wasn't being taken in by this spoiled rich boy, "Now wait! Just slow down one minute, that doesn't leave enough time for invitations or a gown fitting. That and there's no way I'm marrying without my family priest officiating."_

_Bruce's smile diminished slightly. This wasn't the plan at all! She's changing everything!_

_He explained that he_ wants to keep the house and furnishings exactly the same as it is, there's nothing wrong with it, and nobody but Barbara is complaining.

 _And she_ says, "I want to do a full restoration of this house back to its original form, immediately."

She went on to explain that all of that terribly tacky wallpaper comes down.

...The antique fireplaces need to be uncovered and freed from cheap plasterboard covers and restored.

...The awful shabby furniture needs to be replaced with the originals that are currently stored in the cellar and the attic.

She further explained that his parents would be mortified at what he's done to the place!

He finally relents and gives in.

"Is that all? Done," Bruce wearily agreed, sighing.

He thinks that this is going to be a real pain in the ass.

At least she's beautiful, even though she dresses kind of frumpy in those suits.

'This is going to be an uphill battle against this rich spoiled brat,' thinks Barbara,' but I'll soon straighten him out.'

'Thank goodness he's so attractive.' He sighs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, dear readers, I'm setting up some serious tension and confrontation between our soon to be affianced pair.
> 
> I'll attempt as many twists and turns as I can manage, because I love to mess with my characters.
> 
> (Insert evil cackle here)


	3. Just sign on the dotted line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce meets with Barbara in his lawyer's office to go over the final details of the prenuptial contract.
> 
> However, Barbara refuses to give an inch over what she wants for herself and that historic home of his ancestors that he's nearly ruined.

"It's just a simple matter of legality, Barbara, why are you making such a fuss?"

"Because this is my wedding too, and I'm taking it seriously and before God. Otherwise, my parents will go insane. I'm old enough to make my own decisions, but I still want their blessing. Is that too much to ask of my future husband, or aren't _you_ taking this seriously?"

"Of course, I am, I'm taking this very seriously. That's why I've had my lawyers draw up a proper prenuptial contract."

"But Mr. Wayne, this isn't just a business arrangement, it's a marriage, our marriage, a partnership, and a lifelong commitment."

"So are my companies. And we're getting married Barbara, it's okay you can call me Bruce now, not Mr. Wayne, that's my father's name."

Barbara huffed and rolled her eyes, then stomped her foot, and growled in annoyance, " **Grr** _ **!** You think this is all a great big joke, don't you?" _

She had fire in her eyes and her hands on her hips. 

"No, I don't think it's funny at all, I take all of my business transactions very seriously."

"Well, I have a few demands, and I'm not bending an inch -- 

\- First, the wedding is going to be held in my family's church.

\- Second, I'm placing myself in charge of all the renovations of that landmark building you've turned into a _Playboy Mansion_ , and I'll have the last word on everything.

\- And last, I'll need a proper wedding dress and a trousseau. My current clothes just won't fit to be seen in as your wife. 

\- _None of this is going to be negotiable."_

She stared him down, daring him to disagree with her.

Barbara squinted hard at him for a long moment and then added, almost comically,

" _And you aren't allowed to make me miserable!"_

"I am not adding that in the contract, that's a state of mind and it can't be negotiated, don't be ridiculous!"

He grinned at the very thought of wording that clause into the contract.

She was certainly feisty just as Jim had warned him. Bruce was going to enjoy this, it had been a long time since anyone had given him a real challenge!

He came over next to Barbara and attempted to put his arm around her to soothe her frazzled nerves, and she flinched away, though her skin tingled from the slight contact and she shivered at the delicious feelings he awoke in her.

" _I'm sorry, we are getting married, did I do something so wrong_?" he murmured next to her ear.

" _No, no it's fine, I just... I'm not accustomed to, um, being touched so casually_ ," she barely whispered as her face flushed a becoming shade of pink.

She felt what seemed to be an electric shock go through her body at his touch. It was unexpected, but not at all unpleasant.

Not unpleasant at all.

But that wasn't the way to maintain her stringent self-control, she mustn't allow the loss of restraint under any circumstances.

That would not work at all.

This wedding wasn't about love or other emotions.

This was supposed to be a marriage of convenience.

Love was only a fairy tale, that was a fact of life, and she didn't want to be feeling desire for this man that she barely knew.

That was the worst feeling she could have of all!

Well, Jim had said that she hadn't dated much, and that was probably why she flinched away and blushed like a schoolgirl. 

It seems Bruce had found a chink in the armor of the proverbial ice queen, and he could definitely use that.

She was just too wonderful to let her escape this easily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I wanted to add tension!
> 
> And now we have it!
> 
> Babs might be shy but she's as feisty as can be, perhaps combative is a better description.
> 
> As the unofficial Gotham city historian, it brings her to tears to see what that spoiled playboy has done to his ancestral home.
> 
> Bruce just wants a quick marriage, but our little Babs has other plans. 
> 
> She wants the church wedding with all her relatives in attendance, to make it properly official.
> 
> Bruce won't be bored with her around, that's for sure!


	4. Bachelor of the Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The front page of this month's edition of Time Magazine showed a flattering profile of billionaire Bruce Wayne, naming him the most eligible man of the year.

Being on the cover of a magazine was nothing new to Bruce, he had been featured and profiled in many a publication.

It was an excellent photo, he had sat patiently through dozens of shots by one of the nation's most famous and respected photographers. 

While for him it was business as usual, he felt an emptiness when his thirty-fifth birthday was celebrated at Club 34 on Broadway.

Here he was, a celebrity in his own right; handsome, single and wealthy, but with no real family, besides his butler and confidante Alfred.

Jim had been his best friend for ages and although Jim's own marriage was rocky at times, he had a great family.

When Jim suggested Bruce start thinking seriously about finding a wife, Bruce had waved away thoughts of marriage, but deep inside he agreed. He wanted children and didn't want to play catch with his progeny starting in his sixties, he wanted them while he was young enough to raise and enjoy them.

And while Alfred was there for conversation, he wanted a wife to come home to, to kiss goodnight, warm his bed and be there to share all of the special moments of his life.

* * *

Barbara too had her own thoughts on the topic. She too wanted a family but she was terrible at dating. She was inclined to freeze up, while avoiding an inevitable goodnight kiss, she wound up wanting to merely shake hands instead.

Looking back, that probably explained why none of the guys she went out with ever called back for a second date. That, and having a formidable policeman for a father was more than a little intimidating.

So when her dad said that Bruce Wayne was looking to get married and asking if she was interested, thanks to dad, she agreed to meet with him.

It might be the only chance to find a husband, although right now she felt more like a mail-order bride.

He was good looking, oh heck, she actually thought that he was gorgeous. He looked just like a movie star, very much like Clark Gable but without the mustache. Only he wasn't living in Hollywood, but right here in Gotham City.

And he wanted to have children too.

She was in danger of becoming an old maid if she missed this chance, hell, she was nearly halfway through her twenties. That made her a spinster!

She really can't afford to wait much longer to get married. Besides, love was only a hormone induced fairy tale. 


	5. Getting to know you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are some secrets that every person has, and those are fine.
> 
> Then there's a whole other level of secrets.  
> The question each of them is currently asking themselves is which of those should remain a secret and which should be shared.
> 
> A frank discussion might be exactly what is needed.

* * *

"Barbara, if we're both seen together at City Hall getting a marriage license, there will reasonably be a slew of photographers there ready and willing to be snapping pictures. It will get out in the papers that we're going to marry, and your current state of privacy will completely disappear," Bruce explained patiently, "It might affect your job, too. I just want to let you know what to expect, it might become much too overwhelming."

"Well, I do plan to keep my job, I seriously doubt that it will be affected by anything. I'm not even remotely famous or well-known."

"You _will_ be affected simply by your association with me. I've seen it before, and it happens in a flash. Just be prepared, all right? Just in case, please? I'm concerned about you." Bruce's blue eyes held hers and she saw he really was worried for her. 

"I'm not asking for you to stop working, but be aware that the press can and will follow you around looking for a good story for their readers, they could hurt you."

"Well, I suppose I'll have to see that for myself. You understand how stubborn I can be," she grinned.

"Well then, if you feel ready and prepared, should we go in?" he asked, offering his arm.

"Yes, I believe we shall."

She smiled up at him, accepting his arm as they exited the car in front of the city clerk's office and began to climb the steps.

Just as Bruce warned, several photographers that were casually hanging back on the stairs immediately noticed Bruce Wayne with Barbara Gordon walking arm in arm, and they started taking flash photos and asking the couple rapid-fire questions.

Barbara covered her eyes and was momentarily stunned as the sudden flashes blinded her.

Bruce just smiled and waved to the press, and calmly declared, "I'll be giving a press conference later at my home, Wayne Manor, at three this afternoon, gentlemen. All of your questions will be answered then. Thank you for your interest."

Then aside to Barbara, he whispered, "that should give us some time to prepare, and we have a few issues we need to discuss before the onslaught of the press arrives. Hopefully, you won't change your mind after our conversation."

"I should hope not," she said.

"Everybody has secrets," he continued, "some of them are fine to keep, but some of them we really need to discuss before we get married," he said softly for her ears alone.

She wondered what exactly it was that he meant by that?

Was he implying that she had secrets from him, or he was keeping something from her?

She guessed that it would probably come out eventually with her many disappearances, but this was much sooner than she was anticipating.

How could she tell him, or should she not tell him anything at all just yet?

As far as she knew her father didn't even have a clue, so maybe this was better left unsaid, for now.

Even Batman himself didn't appear to have any idea, she hoped. If he did, at least he hadn't let on his suspicions of her two-fold identity.

Yes, some things must remain a secret for now, unless she stopped being Batgirl.

She wasn't ready for that, not yet.


	6. A Kiss For Luck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wedding license, check.
> 
> Press Conference sorted for later.
> 
> What was it that Bruce needs to talk about?
> 
> Did he suspect anything about her?

* * *

He drove to the manor to prepare for the press.

"I have to admit that you were right about the press, they jumped on us as though we were the biggest story of the year," Barbara admitted, "I should have listened to your advice, you have more experience with the press than I do."

She hated to agree with him, but he was right.

"Thank you, Barbara, now that the paperwork is done we're one step closer to our wedding."

"Tomorrow we can select wedding rings and then we'll find you a lovely wedding dress and a full wardrobe. While your current style might be suitable for work, it's not what my future wife should wear. I, that is, we, will be attending many black-tie affairs, and you'll need a full wardrobe of evening wear as well as day clothes."

Bruce took a moment to closely observe her, lingering for a few seconds.

She suddenly felt like he was undressing her with his eyes for what seemed to be several very long moments and shivered at his insolence.

"Hmm, with your complexion and hair color, I believe that gem tones would be very complimentary on you, colors like emerald, sapphire, and ruby, I think."

"I can't wear bright colors like those, I'll stand there and feel... uncomfortable. I only wear neutral colors, bright coloring, those clothes are simply not for me." Barbara protested.

He took her by the hand as he asked, "Turn around for me, please? Yes, you're hiding your figure in those bland clothes, but I'll find out what's there soon enough. You're so very beautiful."

Bruce twirled her as though they were dancing and brought her up against his chest in a close embrace.

"I still can't believe you'll be all mine soon," he murmured next to her ear, making her shiver as he slowly smoothed a loose lock of her hair behind her ear, then continued softly stroking the cup of her ear, sending electricity surging through her body.

"How did I get so lucky?" he whispered in her ear.

Bruce gazed deep into her eyes and slowly brought his lips to hers and just grazed them lightly.

"Mmm, your lips are so soft. I can't resist."

His lips against hers felt heavenly, she thought she might dissolve into him like melting butter on hot toast.

Where was all of her strict self-control now?

Oh lord, what kind of voodoo was he using?

His kiss was like drinking down a glass of strong wine, making her feel slightly off-balance, dizzy and leaving her feeling very loose.

She wanted to stay in his arms just like this, feeling his heart beating strongly against hers, it was so thrilling.

Damn him!

She wanted the strength to pull herself away, or push him back, but was that what she really wanted?

She wasn't supposed to be falling for him like this!

This was supposed to be an arranged marriage.

Her brain shouted stop, but her body wanted more of those wonderful shudders he gave her.

Damn him again!

She had to get a hold of herself right now before she became a pile of shriveled resolve.

"Stop Bruce! We shouldn't be doing this yet! Didn't you mention a discussion we needed to have before the press comes down on our heads?"

"There's plenty of time for that, Barbara. We could even work on making babies first before they arrive, you did say you wanted children, didn't you?"

He winked at her and there was no mistaking his meaning at all.

But his blue eyes wouldn't release her.

She was under some spell of his making... or something.

This wasn't supposed to be a love match!

So why couldn't she force herself to pull herself away from his embrace?

That damned seducer of women!

Those deep blue eyes that twinkled at her.

Her own body was trying to betray her by quivering at his touch.

No!

She wanted to scream, but his lips, oh, his lips!

They were sending vibrations all through her from her scalp to her toes.

And she had to admit it if only to herself that she loved how it felt. She was weak, so very weak!

She finally pulled away, but it took all of her reserved strength.

This was worse than Ivy's pollen!

"Bruce, what was it you wanted to discuss with me before the press conference? You made it sound very important."

"I need to confess something to you. This is big. Barbara... I'm not completely what you think I am. There's more to me than what you see."

"This sounds serious, Bruce, is it something that might be a deal-breaker?"

"That all depends on you. I'm not sure if you'll consider this a good or a bad thing. And, yes, it's very serious. Whether it's going to be a deal-breaker is up to you." 

"Bruce, at this point there's almost nothing that would change my mind. Unless... well, unless you're secretly some horrible arch-criminal. That would do it for me. Please tell me that's not what I'm getting into!"

Bruce sighed with relief.

"God, no! Never! Maybe it's better that I show you. Come with me please, there's something you need to see."

Now her mind was swimming, what was it that was so important that she had to see it to comprehend exactly what it was?

They stood in front of an antique Grandfather Clock.

Was the secret hidden inside of it?

Bruce fiddled with the hands until she heard a loud click.

She was completely astounded at what happened next!


	7. What is Bruce's Big Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce had told Barbara that he had a big secret to share with her.
> 
> What had it to do with this ancient clock?

Barbara felt icy fingers of cold air surrounding her and jumped back, thinking that the old mansion was haunted.

She closed her eyes and tried not to scream in terror.

Who really knew what secrets this old building held?

"Please, Bruce, tell me we're not sharing your home with ghosts, that's terrifying! Somehow I don't think Casper the Friendly Ghost lives here or is it something even worse?"

A lone bat flew out from behind the clock, and Barbara's detective mind kicked in.

There must be some secret room here, maybe a link to the Underground Railroad, the building was certainly old enough. Even as the unofficial town historian Barbara still didn't know everything about historic Wayne Manor. 

She did know that Bruce's parents were good people, philanthropic and kind. They built the city it's own rail system to help save citizens money and allow them to travel the city cheaply. It was at the time fast and efficient, and very modern. It still surpassed systems in larger cities.

"As far as I know, the building isn't haunted, except for my own memories. I like to think that my parents are looking down at me, and that gives me comfort. My secret is not ghosts, I assure you."

He pulled her close against him and felt her heart beating quicker than usual. "Don't be afraid, it's nothing that frightening."

He kissed the top of her head. He'd never realized just how perfectly she fit just beneath his chin. Like she was meant to fit right there from the beginning.

She was shivering, and he held her close until she calmed. It upset him how emotional she'd become.

She really had to get out more, he thought.

She was shaking like a baby bird and it brought out his protective side, a side he usually reserved for children and other innocents.

He wanted to be able to keep her safe right here in his arms. He cupped her chin and brought her to face him.

"Barbara I promise you that as long as you're with me I'll offer you the protection of my body, I'll let nothing harm you when I'm near you." 

He gazed deeply into her eyes, she really had pretty eyes, a violet-blue that was both rare and special. Soon she stopped feeling fearful, he made her feel secure.

She believed his words deep in her heart. This was her soon-to-be husband, and she felt a strong sense of trust even though she barely knew him.

It seemed as though she'd known him for years, though she'd rarely ever socialized with him and his crowd.

His arms felt so sure and strong around her. She leaned against his chest and felt completely safe from anything they had to face together.

He pushed the clock and it moved easily as though on wheels. The doorway revealed was just large enough for one person to enter at a time. It was quite dark but there was a staircase that descended down.

Barbara looked at Bruce questioning whether they were going to be entering into the dark, and he held her hand firmly and led her down.

As they descended in complete darkness banks of lights switched on as they advanced further.

It took a few moments until her eyes adjusted and she blinked in amazement.

She had been here before as Batgirl.

The Batcave was beneath Wayne Manor. 

She looked at Bruce, was he the landlord or... no, that's why he seemed to be so familiar.

Oh boy! It can't be true, can it?

Bruce Wayne is Batman?

"Bruce, I think I can guess what you were keeping from me, and the world. Wow! I think we really need that talk now."

"Are you sure you want to marry me after this? It's not an easy life. I tend to disappear at short notice."

"Bruce, only if you can live with a wife who follows you on patrol."

"What's that now? You can't do that, you aren't trained!"

The last thing he needed was his wife following him each night!

"Says who? I'm very well trained, I told you that years ago and you barely believed that until I proved myself. You were very hard to convince."

"Barbara, are you telling me that you're Batgirl? That's... I mean, I would have guessed that by now...!"

"Maybe I'm just better than the great detective at keeping my identity a secret," she answered smugly.

"Oh, are you now?" he smirked.

"Uh-huh. We had better make room for the equipment I have, this cave is certainly big enough for two. Now, come here and kiss me, my dark knight!"

He wasn't too shocked that she yearned for him, as Batgirl had flirted with Batman constantly since he had met the dark damsel.

He pulled her close and kissed her until she was breathless as she held on tight.

Many a night had he imagined kissing Batgirl, but he didn't want to cross any professional lines.

That was now, fortunately, a moot point.

It felt like the Fourth of July and New Year's Eve all rolled into one as their lips met. God, she heated him up, like no other.

"We still have time to go upstairs and make babies," he said against her mouth.

"Don't we need to prepare for the press conference soon?"

Bruce had almost forgotten.

This was one hell of a distraction.


	8. Meet The Press

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Press conferences are so annoying, don't you agree?  
> A necessary evil.

"Alfred, could you set up some refreshments for the press, cold drinks, and simple snacks while Barbara and I steel ourselves?"

"Very well Master Bruce. Is there anything else?"

"Yes, what's that racket downstairs?"

"Ah, that would be the construction crew finally undoing those godawful changes you instituted about ten years ago. And not soon enough, in my opinion!"

"I never called in... **Barbara, what have you done?"**

"Bruce you signed off on this back in your lawyer's office, giving me full control of renovations. Have you already forgotten?" She answered sweetly.

Too sweetly.

"But the reporters are on their way! It's too late to cancel now!"

"In that case, dear, I suggest the garden; Alfred, I'll be happy to help you set up."

"Thank you, Miss Barbara, that's very kind."

Barbara smirked at Bruce, "yes, I'm the kind helpful type. Unlike 'Master Bruce', here."

"Hey, that's not fair. I help out...sometimes."

"Alfred, when is the last time Bruce offered to help?" Barbara asked.

"I believe that he made himself a sandwich once, which took me an hour to clean up."

Bruce cringed slightly.

"Humph!" Barbara huffed triumphantly. "Let's get those folding chairs."

Bruce groaned.

She was making his life crazy!

How was he supposed to live in the house while renovations were going on?

She was killing him more surely than his arch-nemesis ever could.

And he couldn't deny that he had signed the paperwork, and voluntarily, too. 

Women!

Where was he supposed to sleep now?


	9. Move Over, Please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With his house being torn apart and reassembled, Bruce couldn't possibly get any sleep at all.
> 
> If she was making his life miserable, he could easily return the favor and turn the tables.

"You'll do no such thing, what will people say?" Barbara was alarmed at the brazenness of him.

What nerve!

He couldn't move in with her to her tiny studio apartment.

It was scandalous!

"You've left me no choice, you could have warned me that laborers were going to be swarming over my home like bees! I can't sleep with all the noise, it's too risky for me to go on patrol fatigued, I could be hurt or killed if my reflexes are slow. I don't have time to make other arrangements. Besides, we are getting married. and I'm going to be making an honest woman out of you."

"But..." 

She sputtered in frustration.

"You can't! It's unheard of! My father...!"

"He knows we're getting married, it was his idea for me to marry you. He won't mind, I'm sure, I'll call now and ask him," he smirked.

"Don't you dare, I'll be mortified. I don't even own a sofa you can sleep on. You just can't! People will think the worst, I'll be disgraced for life, my reputation... I'm Catholic!"

She looked appalled, he might have asked her to parade naked in the town square, it would be less embarrassing.

She needed to get out of here and think, she needed to go somewhere quiet. 

The library, no place is more peaceful except for church. That's it, she'll first go to confession, then the library.

Books were her sanctuary, it was safe there among them. And, maybe Marcy could calm her shattered nerves. They had become close while working together over the last few years, and Marcy was her only friend.

* * *

In the confession booth, Barbara poured out her story, "Father, I'm marrying a man I don't love, that has to be a sin, isn't it?"

"Are you marrying in deception, or planning to be false? There's no sin here, my dear girl. Not every wedding begins with true love, Barbara. Is he a good man?"

"Yes, Father, he's a very good man, he's considerate, kind, and solid. He makes me feel safe and secure, and, um, he's rather attractive. But now there's a problem, he wants to move in with me before the wedding, and it's all because of something I did. That must be wrong!"

"What is it that you've done? Did you force him out of his home?"

"In a way, yes. I wasn't thinking clearly and sent over a crew to renovate his home, in effect forcing him out. That wasn't very nice of me, it was selfish. I should be punished for that."

"Well my dear child, is there room for him temporarily? A place for him to sleep?"

"I only have my bed. Not a sofa or even an oversized chair. Oh, what have I done?"

"It's not all bad if he's a good man and can wait until your wedding night. In that case, bring him by and meet me in my office as soon as possible, I'd love to meet the man you'll soon marry and counsel both of you. Congratulations, Barbara, your father must be so happy."

"I think he is, he actually arranged our meeting, and thank you, Father."

Barbara crossed herself in front of the church and headed to the library.

Marcy was surprised to see her at work on her day off. "What's wrong, Barbara? You look upset, what happened?"

.....

Bruce smirked to himself at his plan of action, but he didn't expect her to run away!

Where would she have gone?

He could check at the library, maybe someone there knew her thoughts, he certainly didn't, not yet.

.....

"You're marrying who? No, you can't Barbara, _I'm in love with him! It's not fair!_ You little witch, that's it, I quit! I can't even look at you anymore!"

"Marcy, wait, don't... this isn't worth our friendship!"

As Marcy gathered her things to leave, Bruce came in looking for his fiancée, bumping right into Marcy.

"Oh, excuse me, please. I'm looking for Barbara Gordon, I believe she works here."

" _You!_ How can you stand to marry her, she's not even in love with you, but I am. I've always loved you for years and years. We're the ones that should be getting married, not you and her, she's so dull, and I'm perfectly beautiful, I'm meant for you, how can you stand to marry her? _You're repulsive people, you'll both be sorry, you'll soon see!"_

Marcy stormed out, knocking over chairs in her way and slamming the door.

"Barbara, are you alright? What was all that about, anyway? I don't even know the woman, I've never seen her in my life, I promise."

"I have no idea. Let's go into my office to chat in private," Barbara explained.

Barbara pulled the two seats closer so they could face one another. "I'm just so upset, it's all my fault that you have no place to sleep, I didn't think. I called the building company before I actually _knew_ who you are. Bruce, I don't even have a sofa for you to sleep on until the renovations are complete, just the one bed. I'm such an idiot. I'm sorry."

"Well, sharing a bed doesn't mean that we'll be having sex, I can truly sleep there and just cuddle, or I'll stay on my side of the bed if that makes you feel better. That's not a sin now, is it?"

Just hearing the word 'sex' made her turn red! Wow, he just talks so bluntly! Barbara hadn't considered they could be sleeping together without actually 'sleeping together'. Would he be able to restrain himself and be a gentleman, waiting for their wedding night? 

Worse yet, could she?

"Well, when you put it that way, I suppose it's not a sin, but it's putting us both in a position of strong temptation. And... well what if we become too tempted to stay separate during the night? I'd be a ruined woman. I couldn't stand the thought of it." She studied her lap, unable to face him. It was just so embarrassing and felt so wrong. There weren't enough 'Hail Mary's' she could say in the world to undo what could possibly happen!

"I can wait if that's what you truly want. I care deeply about your feelings, I would never want to hurt you in any way. When I asked your father for a recommendation for a good wife, he proposed I meet you. I hold after all of the many women I've met, I honestly couldn't have chosen anyone better to build a shared life. I want that with you, Barbara, and if it means waiting a few weeks longer, I can wait. You're deserving of all that and more."

"Is that how you genuinely feel about me? We certainly don't know each other that well, even the fighting criminals together part. Though I admit we always did work harmoniously and in absolute sync. Even with all of my shameless flirting, you never once took advantage of me. But this doesn't seem right somehow, I'm not sure that you're honestly attracted to me, and we're not even in love with each other."

"I'm very attracted to you, Barbara, why do you think I keep urging you to sleep with me? I don't sleep with anyone without being attracted, I'm not that immoral. My own reputation of the playboy has always been a cover, you must understand that by now. I had to adopt a personality that was opposite that of the hero. Though it did come with some delightful perks." 

He deliberately winked and smiled at her, and her resulting blush left her beet red.

He made her think the most wicked thoughts, what was wrong with her? She urgently needed a change in venue.

"Bruce, come to church, we need to speak to Father O'Brien."

Well, they had better go meet with the Father.

That should cool her down, at least for now.


	10. Our Father Who Art In Heaven...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barbara takes Bruce to church, and they receive a personal sermon and homework.
> 
> Yes, homework!

"Good afternoon again, Miss Gordon, and would you kindly introduce your fiance to me, please?"

"Father, this is my fiance, Bruce Wayne."

"Oh? Really, it's an honor to make your acquaintance, Mister Wayne.

"Now, my children, I'd like to speak to you about marriage versus the evils of cohabitation. 

"It’s not simply that cohabitation in and of itself is wrong, it places an unmarried couple in the possibility of committing a grave sin, and it is also a cause of giving scandal to others, which is why the church is fully against it.

"Our main objection to cohabitation is that it invariably leads to or actually involves fornication, which is a mortal sin, meaning that it is always greatly immoral. Conjugal or marital love is meant to express the covenant and bond between a husband and wife, and it is meant to be a mutual giving that is free, unreserved, faithful, and also fruitful.

"The act of marital love and procreation is meant to be within the holy sacrament of marriage only.

"Now, I have explained the Church's views to you, and I expect you to faithfully follow them. I understand that it may seem difficult to wait, but since you plan for your wedding to take place in the very near future, I certainly hope that the short wait will be easily tolerable.

"Of course, you may hold hands and say loving endearments to one another. Expression of affection is fine and proper for an engaged couple.

"I will expect you both to come here for your mandatory pre-marital counseling for the next three weeks. How about Monday evenings, hm?"

* * *

Bruce wasn't a particularly religious man. He wasn't sure what he believed. But this was important to Barbara, and he felt a strong affection and an unexpected attraction for her. If this made her happy, it was little enough to offer.

Now they really ought to get rings and a wedding dress for the first time.

What the hell did he know about wedding dresses anyway? They were white and long and certainly not sexy at all.

Or we're they?

He had no clue, but he did know one thing, he wanted to give her a fabulous wedding and a memorable wedding night.

He was fully looking forward to fulfilling that part of their marriage!

Oh, sweet Barbara, in his arms and in his bed, making her...

He had to stop that, it was giving him a painful ache and filling him with lust.

Lust wasn't a bad thing, but man, it was uncomfortable when it went unfulfilled. 

Damn her religion for making him wait, his stiff cock was killing him.

He needed a cold shower.

Icy cold.

Or better yet, a long and private shower to get some decent relief!

Oh, God!


	11. Move Over, Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The way you make your bed is the way you'll sleep in it, right?
> 
> Can Babs stay chaste with Bruce in her tiny apartment until their wedding night?
> 
> Easy peasy... Isn't it?

As Barbara prepared for Bruce to arrive she was chiding herself for acting so foolishly.

'Well, I got myself into this mess, 'Babs thought, 'and now I'll have to deal with it.'

'Neither of us can sleep on a kitchen chair, or on the floor, so we need to be able to figure out how to share the bed without sinning. Oh, God, give me strength, how can I resist those kisses? That stops too, no more temptations, God, help us both!'

Why did I call in the construction crew right away without even thinking about the consequences? Because I was annoyed by Bruce and what he'd done to his old landmark, that's why!

Idiot!

Hmm, I suppose I can build a wall of pillows and blankets between us, and pray like mad. This is just a hell of my own creation.

How quickly can we have this wedding over and done with? I kind of wish that...

Barbara is rolling her spare winter comforter into a long thick barrier and placing it down the middle of the bed.

That's that. Whew! 

She slumped down onto the chair and poured herself a glass of water.

But no rest for the weary, Bruce is here!

He's carrying a huge trunk, the kind used for ocean voyages.

"Hi, Barbara, where should I... Oh, this really is small, I was hoping you were exaggerating. This is certainly going to be cozy. Did you need any help making the bed?"

Bruce tried not to laugh as he noticed the wall of blankets down the middle.

"The bed is just the way I want it, thank you very much!" Babs huffed. "Are you being shallow on purpose, or are you always such an ass?"

He loved teasing her, it brought out the fire in her eyes.

His own eyes twinkled with mischief, and a smirk was on his lips.

This was going to be fun!

"You must realize that I'm used to taking up all of a king-sized bed? I might squeeze you a bit."

"Don't even try it, Bruce Wayne! You can keep to one side of the bed, or you can sleep on the floor. I really don't care which one you choose to do.

I have to go in to the library and find a replacement for Marcy, I have no idea what had gotten into her head, but I really need an assistant."

"Well as soon as you get that done, we have to go look at wedding dresses and sort out our rings, we do have a wedding to plan, so keep it short. Do you want me to come with you? I wouldn't mind at all."

The phone rang just then, it was another journalist looking for a quote from Barbara.

She was getting fed up with all these calls, they were calling her all day and into the night.

Ever since their engagement hit the papers a day ago the phone had barely stopped ringing at all!

"Barbara, if you'd like I can have your phone rerouted to my house and Alfred can take the calls for you, would that help?"

Barbara had no idea that was even possible. "Do you think he would mind? He's so nice, I'd hate to bother him."

"It's no bother at all, this is something he's used to doing, I'm always being hounded by the Press."

"That would be amazing Bruce, thank you. Thank you so much! That would make my life so much easier. Now let's go, we can choose sleeping sides later."

Barbara had placed a small advertisement in the local papers and had asked her alma mater to post a notice in their library for the open position.

She hoped that someone might respond soon so she and her future husband could get on with their wedding.

When they arrived there was an entire sack of mail sitting just outside her office.

What in the world?

She opened the drawstring and found every letter there was from desperate women applying for the open job, hoping to get close enough to woo Bruce away before his nuptials.

Bruce sat with her and tried to hide the more lecherous replies, some were extremely graphic, but Barbara insisted on at least skimming them all.

There could possibly be one or more qualified applicants, and she couldn't afford to miss those.

Very few letters had actually come from those qualified, the rest of them were from gold diggers or women with loose morals who wanted to get close to Bruce via his fiancee's open job.

She was shocked to see what some of them had written, oh dear God!

"Bruce is this normal in your world? Has everyone gone mad? These women are shamelessly throwing themselves at you!"

"Unfortunately this is normal, though I often wish it wasn't.

You would think that we were offering a rich husband instead of a job in the library.

Welcome to my world, my future amazing and absolutely perfect wife.

Now, do you understand how difficult it is to find someone special like you?

I'm a lucky man, and I plan on making you very happy.

Let's go and find a bridal shop, I just realized that I already have rings at home we can use if you like. My parents' rings, if you would wear them."

"That would be an honor, of course, I will."

She hadn't realized how sentimental he was, Bruce was more complicated than she had given him credit for.

She liked that.


	12. Keep your hands to yourself!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The couple chooses sides, Barbara buys a wedding dress, Bruce is beset with gold-diggers, and Barbara's parents are thrilled that their daughter is getting married.
> 
> After an intimate chat with her Mother, Barbara realized how little she knew about marriage, specifically about sex.

Barbara's mom insisted on helping her choose a wedding dress.

It was just as well, she never had any idea what would look nice, she was all about wearing serviceable clothing, usually, she dressed in simple suits that mimicked outfits worn by Jacqueline Kennedy, but were far less expensive.

Bruce explained, as she well understood, that she had to dress the role of his wife, and said that cost was less important than quality.

Barbara's mom helped choose something perfect in satin with a train, adding her own wedding veil as something old, and a pair of blue topaz earrings for something blue. They added long white gloves to balance the short sleeves, and a pillbox style cap she could wear under mom's veil.

Barbara looked elegant and felt like her outfit now struck the perfect balance of being demure and in excellent taste.

The mirror image stunned her, she had always considered herself as nothing very special, but she looked like someone who deserved to be his wife now.

Her mother and the consultant both agreed she looked wonderful, and the dress fit her perfectly.

 _She was actually getting married_ , it finally hit like a brick and she experienced a moment of panic.

"Mom, we need to have a talk, I don't know exactly what I should do on my wedding night," she blushed, "I want to make him happy, but I'm afraid. Others have told me so many stories about pain and, well, I want to be a good wife!"

Tears ran down her face, making her mascara run. The fitter handed her a box of tissues and allowed a few minutes of privacy while she busied herself finding matching shoes.

After a frank and honest conversation, young Barbara understood a little better what to expect and learned a few whispered hints on how to keep him happy, perhaps even thrilled, throughout their marriage.

They giggled and whispered for a while until the saleswoman cleared her throat and returned with boxes of gorgeous shoes.

Both agreed, "These, please, in a size six."

After paying with Bruce's charge plate Barbara had everything sent to her parent's home. She wanted her outfit to be a complete surprise not to break with what was traditional.

* * *

"So, did you choose anything?"

"Yes, it's perfect. You'll see it at our wedding," she grinned mysteriously. "I wouldn't want to jinx it. Can I suppose you have a suit to wear?"

He grinned back at her, "Of course. You'll need to shop for the rest of your things soon, don't forget to buy some pretty nighties and such. Or not," he smirked, "They won't stay on very long anyway."

Her mouth dropped.

Mom didn't mention being naked!

Did they _both_ get naked?

She simply assumed that, well, you worked around the clothes, or something.

Actually, she assumed that part.

Even after Mom's talk, mom never actually said it, Barbara used her imagination, which wasn't up to speed at all.

She realized how little she knew for certain.

Were there books she could read in private?

* * *

"So, I've decided to sleep on the right side, since it's closer to the bathroom. You can have the left, or the floor if you want." 

"Hmm, I usually just sprawl down the middle. You can fit around me, or under me." he waggled his eyebrows at her.

"You're incorrigible! I'd be squished!"

"No, but you might scream anyway. I've gotten excellent feedback on my technique, " he smirked.

"Bruce! Not before our wedding day, that's awful and it's wrong."

"None of my dates have ever told me that I was awful. Exhausting maybe, but never awful. Happy screams are quite common, too."

"Why in the world would someone scream? You don't force them? Please tell me you don't."

"Force them? No! In fact, they try to force _me_."

"Now you're just teasing me. Don't try to tell me that! How could a woman possibly force a man, anyway!?"

"Oh, my sweet girl, you really are so innocent. I can explain it to you, but you might get upset. Should I continue?"

Barbara was sure that it was impossible for a woman to force a man to be intimate, but she still had a lot to learn.

He didn't seem to be kidding, in fact, she was thinking that it was turning him on!

"You do understand how sex works by now? Or do I begin from the birds and the bees?"

"Yes, well mom gave me the details, but I still only know only the basics of the wedding night, I think."

"Hmm, well you understand that a man needs to be aroused to perform, and a woman can force a man to become aroused through touch, or even with descriptions of sex whether he intends to or not.

"It's male physiology, and once the arousal begins it's difficult to undo unless the tension is released through the sex act. Do you understand exactly what that means?"

She really didn't, she understood where part A fits into slot B, but she wasn't sure about all of the mechanics involved.

It wasn't a topic that was discussed, except for the usual last-minute wedding night advice to open up and allow him in.

She bravely shook her head no.

She would have to learn eventually, and it was better to learn from an experienced husband.

Besides, it was exciting her a little.

"It's easier for me to just show you."

He took her hand and placed it over his cock and held it there as he became engorged from her touch. She looked at his face as his eyes darkened from excitement.

She gasped as it now became clear how part A became a firm enough tool to penetrate slot B!

"So, it stays like that? Is that the size it is? Will it fit inside me?" 

He brought his lips close to her ear and whispered, "Yes," making her shudder with an odd feeling of excitement.

"And that's just from my touch, that's what I do to you? Does that happen every time you kiss me, is that why you keep trying to bed me?"

"Yes."

"Does it get bigger?"

"Let's see," he answered.

He used her hand to stroke him firmly, slowly, and his cock became even harder and thicker beneath her fingertips.

She felt him growing and gasped.

Her knees felt like jelly.

Her panties became moist and sticky.

She realized she felt a hunger for him, and she secretly liked the feeling.

He was a devil, trying to tempt her.

And it was working, Lord, was she feeling tempted!

"Now can you explain why a woman would scream?"

"Just as the man can hit a pleasurable climax, so can the woman have one if the man is a good lover. It causes her to moan or even scream, it can feel as sudden and powerful as a punch to the gut, except it's quite pleasurable."

She wasn't told that it was pleasing, just that it was a _duty_. But Father O'Brien had mentioned something to that effect earlier, didn't he? Pleasures of the flesh.

"Oh my gosh, Bruce, it's Monday, we have to go meet with Father O'Brien!" Barbara yelped.

Damn!

" _Now_? I'd better jump in the shower fast and get rid of this erection, Sweet Jesus!"

"Wait, a shower can get rid of it? What's that going to do?"

"Freeze it!" he answered frantically.

Okay. So that's how it works!

She hadn't expected to touch him, but she did ask.

Well, kind of. 


	13. Holy Matrimony, Batman!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barbara feels conflicted, she wants to feel annoyed and angry at Bruce, but her mind and body are trying to betray her.
> 
> That famous self-control of hers is running away as quickly as possible.
> 
> Why did he have to be so damned good-looking?
> 
> Why did he have to be her secret fantasy, Batman!
> 
> She was so screwed.
> 
> How was she possibly going to hold out from having sex with a God until her wedding night?
> 
> Heaven help me!
> 
> *****
> 
> Bruce is just as conflicted, he wants her so much that he's in his own personal Hell.
> 
> He wants physical satisfaction for both of them, he wants to make her scream.
> 
> He wants to watch her fall apart beneath him.

On the way to church, Barbara is pretty pissed at her own lack of self-control around Bruce.

He's really making it difficult for her to remain a virgin, he's just so extremely tempting.

His kisses make her melt, his embraces set her on fire.

How in hell are they going to make it to their wedding night?

And Barbara needs to know more about sex and stop feeling strange when it's being mentioned.

Damn those religious Irish roots of hers!

Was she supposed to simply lie beneath him like a statue or mannekin on their wedding night?

There had to be something she could do to please him in the marriage bed.

And... How can she possibly wait even another day?

It was so hard.

* * *

Bruce had similar thoughts.

He had always had a thing for Batgirl, that sexy and seductive flirt!

She made it no secret that she wanted him.

But now she's a God-fearing Catholic?

It was too much!

So many mixed signals.

She flirted with him, wanted him, that was a fact.

He wanted her.

But damn it, now they had to wait for it to be consumated.

He was so frustrated with waiting that he now needed to hit something, hard!

Really hard!

Maybe he should've tried to seduce her already, she'd seemed quite open to it, at least she was when she was dressed as Batgirl.

And if he did, could he seduce her?

Would she more readily open her heart and her body to him?

Did she have some kind of split personality? Could he blend both sides together -- the dare doll and the feisty little redhead?

It wasn't a sweet thought, he wanted her soon, but dammit, he wasn't used to waiting at all.

He needed to rush the wedding somehow.

Could Father O'Brien marry them today in secret, and then they could have a wedding for friends and family in several weeks?

He had the rings in his pocket and planned to show them to Barbara later.

This could work if the Father was willing to prevent them from sinning. This seemed to be a great plan.

Holy Matrimony, Batman!

* * *

Bruce asked for a few moments of time before they began.

Barbara waited outside the office.

He explained as gently as he could, saying he was trying to keep his word to wait until their nuptials, but the living arrangements might be his undoing, even though he tried hard not to tempt his fiancee into sinful actions that may lead to fornication.

He asked if they could be married now, and perform the public ceremony on a later date.

He promised he would be more than happy to donate a generous sum to the church if there was anything they required, a new roof, an organ, or a new building.

Bruce implored that he was trying to save laying with Barbara until it was proper, but there was a serious strain on them both, and he wanted to save both of their souls.

Father O'Brien looked into Bruce's face. He saw love there, and sincerity.

"If Miss Gordon is willing to do so willingly, I'll happily unite you both in God's eyes today. I'd much rather do that then to place you both in an uncomfortable and difficult circumstance. If you're being honest with me, and I with you, we can use improvements to the building, it's suffering from age and weathering."

"Would a donation of, say, $100,000 cover what's needed, Father?"

"Oh, yes, my son! Bless you both for a thousand years!" Father O'Brien cried tears of joy.

Bruce wrote a check and signed it with a flourish.

"Even if Barbara wishes to wait, the check belongs to the church, I'm more than happy to make the donation without any strings attached."

Bruce gratefully smiled, he could barely contain himself.

He loved Barbara and didn't want to wait any more. He wanted to demonstrate his love, and share his pleasure with her for the rest of their lives.

* * *

Barbara wondered what it was that Bruce wanted to discuss.

They seemed to be talking for quite a long while.

She was ready to listen against the door, her keen detective mind was hard at work trying to figure out what secrets he confided.

Okay, honestly she was just being curious.

Finally, Father O'Brien opened the door and asked her to enter.

Bruce sat there with a happy, goofy smile and couldn't stop looking at her, he practically had cartoon hearts and cupids flying around his head.

_Aww, she loved him so much!_

She really loved him! When did that happen?

"Barbara Gordon, do you wish to marry Bruce Wayne?"

That was strange of him to ask, of course, that's why they were here, to prepare to be married.

"Yes, Father, I really do. I -- I love him."

"I can see that now. And you, Bruce Wayne, do you wish to marry Barbara Gordon?"

"Yes, I do. Very much so, and with all my heart."

"May I have the rings please?"

"Excuse me, Father, but isn't this part supposed to wait until the actual wedding ceremony?"

Barbara was puzzled.

Was this a practice session, or a rehearsal?

"Yes, my child, that is precisely why I need your rings, they must be blessed before I can unite you both in marriage." he smiled beatifically.

"Now?"

"You both agreed that you wish to marry, did you not?"

"Yes, but-- did you actually mean _right now?"_

"Why, yes, of course. Your fiance informed me of your special circumstances, and I agreed to marry you both. Is that not what you said?"

**"What exactly did you say!?"** she whispered angrily to Bruce, shocked.

Please let it not be embarrassing!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Barbara is beyond angry, she's Irish pissed!
> 
> Did Bruce say something to make her look bad?
> 
> Did he lie and say they were already fornicating or expecting?
> 
> Did he make her out to be a loose wonton woman?
> 
> Someone had better explain fast what in God's Holy Name is going on!
> 
> She agreed to marry him, true, but this is not what he'd agreed to at all!
> 
> She's not sure whether she wants to kick him, scream or both!
> 
> She's ready to explode.


	14. I love him he loves me, but now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce talked the priest into granting them an immediate wedding but forgot to mention that to his fiancee, and she wonders how and why.
> 
> She's hoping he didn't make it all seem her fault.
> 
> What did he say!?

"One moment, please, let me assure my bride, she wasn't informed of this, it's a surprise. "Barbara, I wanted to adhere to the laws of your religion, but I'm a weak man near you. I wish to keep our souls as pure as possible and avoid gossip and scandal. I don't want anyone to think anything but the best of you."

"Even though we planned to stay chaste, I don't want us to fall into temptation.

The best way is to get married now and enjoy fulfilling our marital obligations.

Kick that Devil out of our lives and far away.

I'm doing this out of respect for you. If you think it's a bad idea we can wait and suffer instead, but I don't think that we need to do that."

"Please, Marry me right here and right now Barbara, I love you. I want to make you happy for the rest of our lives."

"That's all that was about? I thought, well -- I was wrong and jumped to conclusions. I love you too Bruce!

She hugged him and kissed his cheek.

* * *

A few vital questions, first.

_"Bruce and Barbara, have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?"_

_They glanced at each other, and each said 'yes'._

_"Will you honor each other as man and wife for rest the of your lives?"_

_"We will."_

_"Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his church?”_

_"Yes, we will."_

* * *

Now, that's settled,

Let us begin,

Please repeat after me:

I, Bruce Wayne,

take you, Barbara Gordon,

for my lawful wife,

to have and to hold,

from this day forward,

for better, for worse,

for richer, for poorer,

in sickness and in health,

until death do us part.

Amen!

Again, please repeat after me:

I, Barbara Gordon,

take you, Bruce Wayne,

as my lawful husband,

to have and to hold,

from this day forward,

for better, for worse,

for richer, for poorer,

in sickness and in health,

until death do us part.

Amen!

The rings, please.

"Now, if anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace" 

That part was usually followed by silence.

Usually! ---


	15. What the hell is she doing here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected intrusion!  
> Perhaps we should just skip the part of 'whoever objects'? 
> 
> That never ends well anyway.
> 
> +++++
> 
> And --  
> Guess who's baaaaack and ready to make trouble?

_Marci, Barbara's former assistant came_ _barging into the church, screaming ranting and carrying a loaded gun_

**" _Me, I'm speaking up! --_**

_"There's no way these horrible people should ever get married! She must have tricked him, she doesn't deserve him, but I do!_

_I've always loved him, and thanks to Barbara, he won't even give me another glance,_

_I love him and we should be together forever!_

_Now they will both die just like Romeo and Juliet._

_**Now, die!!"** She screeched, raising her gun._

Acting quickly after sharing a glance between them, they flew into action to disarm and capture Marci before anyone was hurt, then told the priest to call Commissioner Gordon's office.

* * *

The commissioner and his chief of police arrived within minutes of receiving the call.

"That poor deluded woman, what a shame. Please make sure that she gets all the help she needs, Jim. Are you alright Barbara?" Bruce asked as he gathered her up in his arms, kissing her forehead, then her cheek, assuring himself that she was unharmed.

"Yes, yes, of course, I'm - well - I'm a little bit shaken, but I'll be fine. Dad, " she began to say looking gratefully at her father,

"fortunately Dad taught me how to take care of myself in Gotham, but thanks. I love you, Bruce," she stood up on tiptoe to return a kiss.

"Commissioner, since you're here, would you and the Chief please stand up for us as witnesses? We don't want to wait anymore, we're in love." Bruce asked, grinning down at Barbara.

"You are? Why, that's wonderful news, of course, I will! I should ask the Mrs. too, it's our daughter."

"I have a favor to ask, can you all keep this quiet until we have our reception, please? We'd like to enjoy some privacy before the press gets hold of the story, some time for ourselves. You understand how invasive that can become," Bruce explained.

"Dad, can you ask Mom to bring the veil, please? I'll feel more like a bride wearing it."

"Certainly, my dear, this is your special day. Just the veil?"

"Yes, Dad. Please, the rest would be too much of a bother. I'll save that for the reception."

"Barbara, I would love to see you dressed up, but we don't want to waste the good Father's time."

Father O'Brien spoke up,

"Now just a minute, that would be only proper, you only marry under God but the once. I can certainly wait, you were the only couple on my calendar today. Take all the time you need to make the day filled with special memories."

"Thank you, Father, thank you so much!" Barbara beamed.

"Dad, have Mom bring my dress and everything!" She said excitedly.


	16. And now, ...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whew, finally.
> 
> Here comes the good stuff.

Barbara and her mom got her ready in the office, while everyone else waited outside.

Barbara Sr. called Jim in to walk his daughter to the pulpit.

Barbara was positively glowing, while happy tears slipped down the faces of her parents.

Bruce swore that he'd never seen anything as beautiful in his life, and that included all of those models and other celebrities he had dated.

Barbara had a certain innate sophistication that couldn't be duplicated. She had a certain natural class, just like Mrs. John F. Kennedy, the First Lady possessed.

Bruce suddenly became aware of breathing again, and why it was so necessary.

He found he was perspiring and nervous.

His hands were slightly shaking.

She actually left him feeling stunned.

Happily stunned!

Barbara noticed everything about Bruce, none of this was being faked, he really loved her to the point of being jittery.

The way he looked at her made her feel complete. He was the perfect man for her, there was no mistake about it now.

And she was hoping he felt exactly for her as she did for him.

* * *

"You may now..."

Bruce couldn't wait until the final words were spoken, taking Barbara in a breathless kiss that lasted longer than it traditionally would, but no one there minded at all.

Barbara changed back to street clothes, trusting her dress to Mom.

Alfred patiently waited for them next to the car to whisk them away. 

Bruce pulled the privacy curtains closed around them as they drove off, taking his new bride in his arms and kissing her soundly.

* * *

Arriving at Barbara's apartment, he carried her over the threshold and dropped her on the bed, frantic to do his marital duty.

Barbara was pulling his shirt open with enough force to pop the buttons off.

"A bit eager, my little vixen, I like it. So who am I getting tonight, Batgirl or Barbara?" he smiled.

"Both! Kiss me again, and undress me, my husband. Oh, I like the sound of it! Let's get naked, lover boy!"

Her eyes were bright. She wanted a taste of that delicious marital bliss right now, even though it was still quite light out.

"Mmm, whatever you want, here I am," he agreed, dropping his slacks and briefs in a single motion, followed eagerly by his socks.

She left him a few underthings of hers to remove and explore, wearing only a pretty satin and lace bra with matching panties.

He smiled, approvingly. He pulled her close, his shaft firm between their bodies.

"Can I touch you?" she inquired.

"Anytime, never ask, I belong to you."

She touched his shaft, remembering how he had guided her hand on his shaft that last time.

He growled softly, her hands on him felt amazing.

She liked the feel of him, the skin felt so velvety, he was so hard and excited.

She knew he would soon grow harder, it fascinated her.

His voice sounded strained, "Barbara, wait a little while, or I'll finish too soon. Let me touch you and get to know your body."

Barbara got up and tossed the blankets to the floor, then laid down with her arms and legs open to his exploration.

"Oh, Barbara, you're so soft, so beautiful."

Bruce slid his hands up her arms then cupped her breasts, rubbing his thumbs underneath then slid them up to her pink nipples drawing circles around them, making her whimper.

"Mmm, that's so nice!" she slurred dreamily as she arched her back to meet his touch.

If she liked that, she would love what came next.

He wrapped his hot mouth around one of her breasts, gently applying suction to the nipple, and flicking it with his tongue.

"Ahhh! Yes, mmm, I love that." She moaned. 

He switched to the other side, this time grazing the tip with his teeth, bringing a deep moan slithering from her throat.

She locked her fingers in his hair, urging him to continue. He went from one side to the other until she protested that she was becoming too sensitive.

"Oh? Is that so? I'd better move on then," he said kissing and licking his way gradually down to her belly.

She enjoyed every moment, every single touch and kiss.

After tasting her belly he kept heading south and began kissing and licking around the edges of her mound.

She looked down, she never imagined he would kiss her there!

"Bruce is that what most men do? I wasn't aware of -- Oh! That does feel nice though!"

"I want to taste you, open your legs a bit more for me."

Her eyes goggled as his mouth engulfed her entire pussy with hot, wet licks and she cried out at the strange and wonderful feeling.

**"Bruce! Oh my God! Oh!"**

She felt her world tilting and turning as he sucked and licked at her inner lips. Her body was doing that same strange thing that happened in her less-than-chaste dreams.

It was pulsing and contracting from pure sensual delight.

It made her feel dizzy and she felt weightless. 

"Oh yes," she hissed. 

His tongue parted her lips and began quickly lapping at her as the spasms grew stronger within.

Her body began to buck, it was now completely out of her control and under his command.

He licked her faster still until she cried out.

She was writhing in every direction, and he held onto her hips to even her movements. At the very moment she climaxed he entered her, feeling her squeezing him rhythmically.

He felt so good, snug and warm inside her like he was finally home.

It didn't take very long for him to finish himself as she possessively wrapped her legs around him, not willing for this to end.

"Mmm! Bruce? That didn't even hurt, it was just wonderful. So, that's what they mean by wedded bliss, huh? Wow!"

She cuddled into his warmth. She could get used to this, there were no words she knew to describe this exquisite feeling.

He can talk about sex all day long now, just as long as they had their privacy.

* * *

* * *

One year later

"That's it, just a little more, you're almost there."

It sounded encouraging, but she hurt like hell.

Everything hurt.

"I can't do this anymore, let me die here, I gave it all I had, I have no more to give. I'm done for. Please! I'd rather be shot than go through this crap. Just put me out of my misery, please!"

She gutturally screamed long and loud like something was tearing her apart from inside, because that's exactly what she felt like.

"Once more, and it will all be over, then you can finally rest."

"Just one?" she took a deep energizing breath.

She could do this.

Just once more.

All of her training lead to up this singular moment.

She tried with all her might until it finally moved, and she felt a measure of relief at last. It moved and slipped away, and she certainly felt a tearing sensation as blood and god knows what else ran out of her weakened body.

Whew! She was exhausted to the point where she could lie down in this very spot and never again move, letting her life ebb away.

* * *

She heard a small shrill cry from somewhere, but it seemed far away, and she was so exhausted, she was much too tired to care about anything right now.

It was over and she'd survived hell and then some.

Never again, she swore!

This was the worst mission of her life.

Why couldn't they just let her be?

"Open your eyes, it's all over. Don't you want to see?"

"See what!? Uhh, I'm so tired, I can't even open my eyes."

"Here, hold it, it's yours."

She was too tired to think clearly, the torture had continued for hours on end.

"Huh!? Hold what, exactly?" She was so woozy...

"Your daughter, here, look."

Barbara looked down at the tiny bundle that was placed sleeping in her arms.

She looked tired too.

All pink and blotchy.

She yawned.

It sounded like a kitten's tiny yawn.

Barbara moved the blanket to see the small hands and fingers.

Oh, she was so tiny, like a doll.

Prettier, even.

"Can my husband come in now?"

"Well, we usually don't allow..."

Barbara was in no mood for this hospital bullshit!

 _ **"If he's not here in under a minute, I'm getting up and walking out of here to get him, do you want me to do that?! I said now!"**_ she announced firmly in her most commanding voice.

Bruce heard her from the waiting room and grinned, Barbara certainly wasn't shy, that's for sure.

As he walked toward the delivery room, he wondered how many of the hospital staff had peed themselves when she went all Batgirl on them.

He couldn't wait to see her and their new baby.

* * *

He went up to the desk and announced, "Excuse me, I'm Bruce Wayne, I own this hospital, and I want to see my wife. I heard her calling for me."

"Yes, Mister Wayne! Right this way, sir." The nurse quickly answered. 

"Thank you," he said, then slipped the nurse a tip.

She looked in her hand and found a hundred dollar bill.

Damn. That was a weeks' pay!

Bruce pulled an empty chair over after donning a pair of hospital scrubs and shoe covers.

"You look tired, Babs, how are you?"

"Somewhere between exhaustion and death," she groaned, "But I did it, she's perfect."

"A girl? We have a girl." He sounded dreamily stunned. 

"Uh-huh. Wanna hold her?"

"I don't know, what if I --" he might drop her!

"You'll be just fine, one arm under the body and supporting the head, the other wraps around... there, you got it, dad."

"Dad? Where's? oh, right, you mean me! I'm a dad, I'm her dad! Oh my god! She's beautiful. Thank you, I love you both so much. I should call Jim and Barbara, and tell them they're finally grandparents."

"Go ahead, I think I might need a long recovery. A few hours at least. The baby agrees, she's asleep already.

 _"Nurse_? _Can you take her now and do what needs doing?"_

"Thanks, I think I'll just pass out now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a pretty long chapter and I'm not sure if I'm ending it here or not.
> 
> I normally would have broken this into two or more, but my keyboard was driving me nuts, and I think it's out to get me. 
> 
> Every time I made a correction the word freaking disappears.
> 
> Only me, right? 
> 
> Weird.
> 
> Anyway, I might add more. 
> 
> Or not. 
> 
> I dunno yet.
> 
> As Babs would say, I'm gonna go pass out now.


End file.
